Getting a word into the dictionary requires it being used. A lot. In many different ways. So we’ve made a list of 78 Goals for orbisculate usage (one for each year of our dad’s life). Actually, there are still some blank ones. Members of Orbisculation Nation have suggested many of the items on the list, and we would love a few more. If you have an idea for another goal or are interested in helping us achieve one (including ones already checked off -- the more times they’re done, the better!), e-mail us at email@example.com.
2. In a story on a major news site.
3. In the lyrics of a song. Ideally one written by Lin-Manuel Miranda, because if anyone can get a word into a dictionary, it’s that man. But we’ll take whatever we can get.
4. On the floor of a body of government.
5. In a tribute from the city of Citrus Heights, California.
6. In a proclamation from a state whose state fruit is the kind that could squirt you in the eye: Texas Red Grapefruit, Florida Orange, Ohio Tomato, Tennessee Tomato, South Arkansas Vine Ripe Tomato.
7. On the label of a grapefruit-flavored product.
8. By any of the following celebrities: CNN anchor Don Lemon, fictional 30 Rock character Liz Lemon, or Syracuse University mascot Otto the Orange.
9. In the name of a dish served at a bakery, cake shop or restaurant.
10. In the name of a cocktail.
11. By a celebrity with a brand of tequila in need of a lemon slice (such as Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Justin Timberlake or Toby Keith)
12. In a food blog.
13. In a cookbook.
15. Etched by laser on any other utensil or item of crockery.
16. On a sign posted at a grocery store or farmers' market (with or without permission).
17. In the name of a fruit juice drink, smoothie or citrus-flavored beer (a beer that’s traditionally served with a slice of orange, lemon or lime is also acceptable).
18. By a celebrity chef during a cooking show and/or demonstration.
19. By a fictional chef such as Monica Geller, Betty Crocker or the Swedish Chef.
20. In a trade magazine for people in the citrus industry (which, if you’re wondering, is absolutely a thing).
22. In a novel.
23. In a short story.
24. In a children's book.
25. In a comic strip (ideally the caption of
this Far Side cartoon of a cyclops family eating
26. In a comic book.
27. In balloon twisting form.
28. On a window banner, lawn sign or billboard.
29. In an adorable chalk drawing on someone’s sidewalk or driveway drawn by either a child 12 years old or younger or an adult with such terrible drawing skills that we believe they are 12 years old or younger.
30. In a needlepoint or embroidered creation.
31. In a painting or mixed media work.
32. In an artistic homage by a former or current contestant from the show Making It.
33. On a talk show.
34. On a game show.
35. In a Simpsons episode -- after all, it’s a perfectly cromulent word.
36. In an SNL skit.
37. On any other scripted TV show.
38. In a play.
39. In a stand-up comedy set.
40. On a podcast.
41. In a TED talk.
42. In an ophthalmology journal or other medical publication.
44. In the species classification of a citrus fruit.
45. In a text book.
46. In an instruction manual.
47. In a product warning or list of specifications (e.g., “Warning: Orange juicer may cause oranges to orbisculate on you.” Or, “Now with orbisculation-reducing flaps!”).
48. In the product model name of protective gear, preferably the kind of goggles shown in this Scrubs episode.
49. In skywriting.
50. In a cheerleading squad or marching band formation.
51. In a class discussion or lecture.
54. In a poem, ideally written in iambic pentameter.
56. In a mnemonic, ideally involving our dad’s area of scientific study (the brain).
57. In the name of a Ben & Jerry’s sorbet.
58. In a tattoo (temporary tattoos and henna are both acceptable).
59. In a petri dish of phosphorescent bacteria.
60. Out of Play-Doh.
61. In a word game.
63. In a board game, puzzle or playing cards.
64. In a horoscope.
65. In an advice column.
66. Out of Legos.
67. On an Etch A Sketch (we know we’re dating ourselves here).
68. In a video game.
69. In a quote from notable orbisculation victim Jason Alexander.
75. On an electronic device without a red squiggly line auto-appearing underneath it, i.e., for the AI overlords that dominate technology to accept that this is a word. We are aware that we could do this ourselves by going into our phone or computer settings, but who has time for that?
76. In an alternative dictionary (i.e., a perfectly good dictionary that, if we’re being honest, isn’t exactly one of the ones we had in mind when we first started this).
77. In a major dictionary.
78. In an apology note from our friend accompanied by our $5.